Welcome to my very first mental health post!
I haven’t really spoken about my mental health properly since starting my blog, so thought it might help others get me and let other people know they aren’t alone.
I have been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety and Depression since 2014. I went through a series of CBT. For those who don’t know CBT stands for Cognital Behavioural Therapy. I did find the sessions helpful and they did teach some good coping mechanisms, which i still use til this day.
For this post i am just going to focus on my OCD, anxiety and depression may be touched on more in a different post. Most people see OCD as obsessive cleaning and order. I guess everyone has some sort of OCD tendency in them. My OCD is routine based and requiring constant reassurance.
Instances like leaving the house without checking everything is closed and turned off, previously it has taken almost 30-45 minutes before i could leave my house due to completing ‘my checks’. I have left the house before and had to go back to make sure i had shut my front door, it’s as if my mind goes blank and i have no recollection of closing my front door (which is a pretty automatic function)
I also have a fear of losing something so constantly checking everything in my handbag to ensure all the contents is there is a bad habit, i have calmed down on this during bus rides as i got so bad that i would check when i sat down on the bus and check again before i get off and then again when i got off. It was a hard habit to get out of.
I have OCD issues with certains items like Pens! Now i collect pens i have all different types and designs. But the issue is i have to finish the ink in the pen i am using before i will use a new one. crazy right ?!?!?!?! like i have no issue throwing them away when they are finished, but i just can’t use another one until my current one finishes.
The reason for this post is that my OCD does affect my make up and skin care routines, and i wanted to share this with you all. I have alot of make up and skincare products which i have to finish using before i trial a new brand or formula. The below are products i cannot swap and change between:
The only products which my OCD doesn’t affect is eye shadows and lip colours. It is a weird one but i think its because there is so many different colours to use so i mix depending on the look i am going for. Some people probably think why are these any different and to be honest i really don’t know. My brain works in strange ways.
If I try a product and it doesn’t work or i don’t like it i will just throw it away or give it to someone else who could use it. If the product works fine then i cant throw it away i will use it until its finished. Hard to explain but it is just how i work.
I am a beauty hoarder at it’s finest, like in general i am a hoarder. I have a ridiculous collection of eye shadow palettes and lip colours. I do have spare foundations, primers mascaras etc but i dont keep loads as i know i have to wait for the one i am using to finish before starting a new one. One day i will show you all my collection.
So being a hoarder one word we all hate is decluttering, it is the hardest thing in the world for me you can ask my bestie and she will vouch for how much i avoid it. I think for my last declutter it took me 6 months to gear up for it.
Having OCD with make up has its good and bad points:
- No product wastage – i always use all a product and dont let them dry out or go out of date.
- Not having lots of products opened at once – They dont get dried out and i don’t buy as many base products so i save money.
- Don’t get to do many base product reviews – Main base products i can review are primers as i tend to get a lot of smaller sized bottles for primers. But they are far and few between for foundations powders etc.
- Am i still a good beauty blogger? – i ask myself this all the time, if i don’t review as many products because of my OCD will i not get noticed as a blogger?
Living with any mental health issue is hard and i just wanted to use this post to talk about one of mine and it has turned into one of my longer posts. Sorry if i bored you all 🙂